Punch Your Negative Inner Voice Off Your Shoulder: 5 Fixes for Calming Your Nerves About Your Dog’s Behavior
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
This article was based on an article published by Lucinda Green, one of the most accomplished cross-country riders of all time (World and double European Champion, Olympic Silver Medalist, dual Burghley winner, and six-time Badminton champion). Since the early 1980s, she has taught riders worldwide, from grassroots to Olympic level. Known for her cool head under pressure, Lucinda often describes the “Devil on her Shoulder” as the inner voice of nerves and self-doubt.
While her wisdom comes from horses, the lessons apply just as powerfully to dog guardians. Fear and anxiety triggered by your dog’s past behavior can feel just as overwhelming. The good news: the same principles of calm, trust, and focus that help riders succeed can also help you guide your dog with confidence. *For more amazing and insightful information from Lucinda see the links at the end of this article.
When Your Worry Shows Up on the Leash: How Your Emotions Shape Your Dog’s Behavior
If you’ve ever felt your chest tighten when your dog spots another dog, pulled on the leash in panic, or struggled to settle in a busy place, you’re not alone.
Worrying about your dog’s behavior is something almost every loving guardian experiences. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re emotionally invested in your dog’s wellbeing.
And for many of us, our dogs are more than companions.They’re the ones who helped us through grief.They’re the calm during illness.They’re the steady presence during life’s hardest seasons.
So when something feels “off” in their behavior, our nervous system reacts — fast.
Even experienced trainers feel it.
The difference isn’t whether worry shows up.It’s what we do when it does.
When Anxiety Takes the Lead (and Your Dog Feels It)
That negative inner voice creeps in quietly:
What if this goes badly?
What if my dog reacts?
What if I mess this up?
Suddenly your body shifts into protection mode:
• breathing becomes shallow
• hands tighten on the leash
• muscles brace
• focus locks onto the “problem”
• thoughts jump to worst-case scenarios
This isn’t weakness.It’s your nervous system trying to keep you safe.
And because dogs are masters at reading human emotion, they feel that tension instantly.
When you’re anxious, your dog often becomes anxious too.
The beautiful part?When you calm yourself, you help regulate your dog.
That’s the heart of true partnership.
What are Five Ways to Calm Your Body — and Your Dog — in the Moment?
These tools aren’t just “mind tricks.” They’re backed by how the nervous system works and how dogs mirror human emotional states.
1. Breathe Your Body Out of Panic
When you slow your breath, you activate your body’s natural calming response.
Try this:
• Exhale fully first
• Breathe in low and wide: belly, ribs, then chest
• Exhale slow and steady
• Repeat 3–5 times until your shoulders soften
As your breath settles, your dog often does too.
2. Come Back to the Present Moment
Worry lives in the future. Calm lives in now.
Try this grounding reset:
Notice:
• three things you see (your dog’s ears, leash color, surroundings)
• three things you hear (breathing, birds, traffic)
• three things you feel (leash in hand, feet on ground, your dog beside you)
Your nervous system resets when you focus on what’s real; not what you fear might happen.
3. Gently Challenge the Fear Voice
Anxiety tells dramatic stories. Reality is usually calmer.
Try this:
Catch the thought:“My dog will never calm down.”
Ask:“Is that fear talking or fact?”
Replace with truth and have faith in your training:“We’ve practiced calm. My dog is learning.”
Then simplify your plan:“If he reacts, I’ll step back, breathe, and try again.”
Progress doesn’t disappear because of one hard moment.
4. Use a Calm, Confident Body Posture
Your dog reads your posture faster than your words.
Try this “Harmony Stance”:
• Stand tall; imagine a string lifting your head
• Relax shoulders and open your chest
• Look forward, not down
• Add a soft smile - This is my secret sauce in stressful situtations with animals and at tests and competitions.
Confidence in your body creates safety for your dog.
5. Replace Worry With Rhythm
Your brain can’t panic and focus on something simple at the same time.
Try:
• humming softly
• repeating “We’ve got this”
• matching your steps to your breathing
Simple rhythm tells your nervous system: we’re safe.
The Human Dog Harmony Takeaway
Your worry doesn’t mean you’re failing your dog. It means you love deeply.
The bond you share, the one built through hard training days and/or competition seasons, healing, and trust, is actually your greatest training tool.
When you learn to regulate your own emotions, you give your dog the gift of calm, clarity, and security.
And that’s where real behavior change happens.
Not through force. Not through fear. But through connection.
Because when you feel safe, your dog feels safe too.
That’s Human Dog Harmony.
This content is not a paid promotion of Lucinda Green.
*Find more XC tips at www.lucindagreenxcacademy.com
Follow Lucinda on Instagram: @lucindagreencacademy
Facebook: Lucinda Green XC Community
YouTube: @lucindagreen4428
About the Author
Erin McGlynn is the founder of Human Dog Harmony, where she blends evidence-based behavior science with emotionally connected training to help dogs and humans build calm, resilient partnerships; especially through grief, illness, and life transitions.
Read Erin’s full story → About Erin
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